Being a parent has taught me a lot. And no, I don't feel any wiser for it (at least not yet!). Do you know what being a parent has taught me?
That I'm selfish.
That I can have a short temper.
That my words are not always seasoned with salt.
That I am easily frustrated or irritable.
That my life still needs a lot of work. Not work that I can do alone. Work that I need to allow God to do within me. Work that can only be done by surrendering my will to His.
My children have taught me lesson after lesson about grace. Forgiveness. Love. (Kids grant grace and forgiveness so much faster, sometimes, it seems). Embracing each day and treasuring it as a gift. I don't always do that, of course (remember all that work that still needs to be done?), but it's certainly a daily goal.
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| Nightly reading time together |
Grace. Being given the gift of something we don't deserve. The ultimate example of that is Christ, and as Christians, it's a behavior we are called to imitate.
All too often, we are judgmental, wanting people to get what they deserve, seeking justice, holding others to a standard that may be unrealistic (I know I'm sure guilty). But that isn't how God chooses to treat us. Oftentimes, we are so ready to judge others, but when it's our turn, we're all about asking for forgiveness...expecting it, even. But one of the best gifts we have to offer to others is grace.
We don't know the struggles that a stranger (even a friend or acquaintance) may be dealing with. We dramaticize or magnify our own issues and minimize those of others. Rather than being sympathetic, we turn our trials into a competition because "they don't know what it's like for us," "how could they understand," or "they've never been in our shoes." Rather than judging and criticizing each other, we should be granting grace. It's what God does for us, even though it's clear that we don't deserve it.
You see...that's the whole point of grace. It isn't dependent upon a person's worthiness (we would all desperately fail), circumstances, or desires. In fact, a call to grace isn't dependent upon the other person at all.
Our call to grant grace to others is about us, and the choice that we make.
It's the choice to get off of our soap boxes, to withhold judgement and criticism, and to give them the benefit of the doubt. It's the choice...the gift...to show others Christ's love, the way he did for us.
"We love because He first loved us."
~1 John 4:19
He doesn't love us because we deserve it. He doesn't love us because we earned it. Nor does He loves us because we loved Him first. We are to love as a result of His love for us. Because He set the first example of true love, our love should imitate His love. We love our own children because they are our children. We don't love them because they are capable of showing love to us right away. We love them for who they are.
"See what kind of love the Father has given to us,
that we should be called children of God;
and so we are..."
~ 1 John 3:1
Love and grace go hand-in-hand. Grace flows from a loving heart. We didn't earn it from Him...and we can't expect others to earn it from us. None of us deserves it (and it isn't for us to determine that, anyway). That's why it's a gift.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith.
And this is not your own doing;
it is the gift of God,
not a result of works,
so that no one may boast."
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| "Just because" flowers |
The gift of God. Sometimes, because we love our children, we do something nice for them. Even when attitudes are poor, respectfulness is lacking, and obedience has been thrown out the window. Clearly, it's not my first instinct to give them a "gift" under such circumstances, but occasionally, it's what's needed the most...not because they've earned it, but simply because we love them.
Granting grace isn't easy. It goes against our human nature. But it is what we are called to do. Next time I feel the urge to judge or criticize someone, anyone, family, friend, stranger...even foe, I will try with all my might to remember how grateful I am for the grace that I have been granted, and try to do the same. Let's toss judgement and criticism of each other out the window...and instead...
"Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ
with love incorruptible."
~ Ephesians 6:24
