{Hidden}

Oftentimes, while I work on things with my hands, I think about God's word.  Recently, I pondered some things while finishing up an Etsy order (do you do that, too?).  My fingers can stitch away and my mind can wander...and dwell on God's truth...as well as how I can better apply His words.

The back of a hoop

This?  It looks like a jumbled mess.  Threads everywhere.  Knots.  Tangles.  Nonsensical.  Just like our lives.  Sometimes we can be a little bit "all over the place."  We let things get to us and we get "knotted up" inside, stubborn, even.  Sometimes, we get so tangled up in our sinful natures that we let it control our actions.  Many other times, life just plain doesn't make sense and we are left dumbfounded.  

Life is messy.  It's a tangled mess of daily trials, some within our control (and of our own doing), and some outside of our control.  It's the simple result of sin entering the world shortly after time began. Though we may try to fix what we can, our "bandaids" are only temporary.  

We try to put our "best selves" out there, but behind the scenes doesn't always (or usually) match with what we let others see.  We often only want others to see our good sides.  But that isn't real.  Each of us is imperfect in some way, differently from others.  In this "Perfectly Pinterest Age," we see what others want us to see...we can easily try measuring ourselves up to the standard that we have created from what we see.  The things we lack personally are good qualities in others.  But we have each been lovingly and uniquely handcrafted.  

And we have been offered the gift of redemption.  A new life.  A distinct purpose.  

Colossians 3:3

Society tells us to "put ourselves out there."  God's word tells us to deny ourselves and live for Christ.

Society tells us to "climb the corporate ladder" and that "bigger is better."  God's word tells us that He must increase, but we must decrease.

Society says, "put your best foot forward."  God's word tells us that no one is good.

Our striving is in vain when living our lives for ourselves.  But when we have been redeemed in Christ, everything changes.  Our aim is no longer to run the rate race, to strive for earthly perfection, or to store up "treasures on earth."  

Our purpose is to glorify God.  Our lives are now "hidden with Christ."  Our desire for what the world now sees from us shifts from our "best selves" to a life that is undeniably lived to glorify the Holy Creator.  We aim not to have people see us at all, but Christ.  He clothes us in our "new selves" that are purely to be a reflection of Him.  And our earthly trials also take on new meaning.  No longer are they just about "something outside of our own control," but how God desires to use them...in us, as well as for others.  It's definitely something we have been learning since having Camdyn...and ALL that it entailed for us then, AND now.  We no longer have to waffle between decisions to make the "right" one because our job is to take a backseat to our own motives and desires and let God's work flow through us...without being an obstacle to His good and perfect will.  

The hoop's front, messiness all covered.

He will cover us in redemption from the death of His Son and make something beautiful and perfect for His purpose...if we surrender our will to His.

Lord, please hide me so others have no choice but to see You.

The Heart Of It All

The six-month mark of Camdyn's Fontan came and went before we could barely blink.  It's not that we had forgotten or didn't want to recognize it somehow, but that this thing we call "life" got so busy we were tied up with the "ins and outs" of the daily routines.  School, work, Etsy Shop, a couple rounds of mild illnesses amongst each of us, plans, appointments, trying with all our might to put Christmas cheer up in our home for our littles to enjoy.  Then there was this surprise trip to a magical place coined as the "Happiest Place On Earth."  We were busy, crazy busy...but also blessed busy.  Busy with all those things we had the luxury to accomplish or enjoy.

My, how our lives had changed again in six months.  We began 2013 hopeful and faithful, but also unsure, and dreading the summer.  We went from normal day-to-day life in January to planned hospital life by June, and post-hospital day-to-day life again in July.  Now, at the end of 2013, it seems as though our Big Red Heart Days were so long ago, yet, returning for her "mild" heart surgery yesterday (though it seems strange to say it, at least it was not open or complicated), it seemed, still, like we had barely left.

It happens sometimes.  We forget to see the big picture because we are caught up in the minutiae (or is that just me?).  No matter how hard I may try, sometimes I briefly forget the emotions that were so real to us during that time...and yet, I still cannot peruse our pictures or blog posts from the last 8 months without feeling the wave of emotions all over again.  The minutiae.  Seemingly inconsequential.  We are ever so thankful for those.  But sometimes, it takes work to remember the bigger picture (enter: tunnel vision), and just what (read: Who) is at the heart of it all.  God is steadfastingly faithful.  He always has been...but we were given the opportunity to test our faith this year, and to see His faithfulness come to pass.  God.  He's at the center.  He was with us at her appointments, He was with her on the playground.  He was there around our dinner table, He was with us during cuddle time.  He stood with us in the waiting room, and covered her with protection in the operating room.  He calmed our nerves during recovery...and when she went back to school.  And then, He was with us everywhere in between.

It's not that He was at the heart of it all, but that He is the heart of it all.  If nothing else, this year has been an exercise in proper focus.  Not focusing on the details, the questions, the uncertainties, but on Him.  The less we focus on Him, the more time and energy we have to allow our focus to shift out of place, away from where it should be.  In turn, keeping our focus on Him removes the opportunity for all the things outside of our control to occupy our minds...which keeps worry and anxiety at bay.

Oswald Chambers (I couldn't locate the original source)

I wouldn't hesitate to say that 2013 was our most trying year yet, or our most blessed.  Out of all those trials and valleys, we found our blessings.  It's like the quote by GK Chesterson that says, "Without the rain, there would be no rainbow."

Camdyn & Max after her pre-surgery physical on Monday, and Camdyn post-surgery on Tuesday

And when I look at the big picture in conjunction with recognizing the little triumphs, my heart overflows with gratitude...which is the best way to close out 2013, and begin 2014...and being able to do so is a blessing in itself.

Walking the hall in Explorer on Tuesday night, and a stop at the big red heart before heading home Wednesday!

Happy New Year, friends!  May your blessings be multiplied in 2014 and your focus on Him steadfast.