The Heart Of It All

The six-month mark of Camdyn's Fontan came and went before we could barely blink.  It's not that we had forgotten or didn't want to recognize it somehow, but that this thing we call "life" got so busy we were tied up with the "ins and outs" of the daily routines.  School, work, Etsy Shop, a couple rounds of mild illnesses amongst each of us, plans, appointments, trying with all our might to put Christmas cheer up in our home for our littles to enjoy.  Then there was this surprise trip to a magical place coined as the "Happiest Place On Earth."  We were busy, crazy busy...but also blessed busy.  Busy with all those things we had the luxury to accomplish or enjoy.

My, how our lives had changed again in six months.  We began 2013 hopeful and faithful, but also unsure, and dreading the summer.  We went from normal day-to-day life in January to planned hospital life by June, and post-hospital day-to-day life again in July.  Now, at the end of 2013, it seems as though our Big Red Heart Days were so long ago, yet, returning for her "mild" heart surgery yesterday (though it seems strange to say it, at least it was not open or complicated), it seemed, still, like we had barely left.

It happens sometimes.  We forget to see the big picture because we are caught up in the minutiae (or is that just me?).  No matter how hard I may try, sometimes I briefly forget the emotions that were so real to us during that time...and yet, I still cannot peruse our pictures or blog posts from the last 8 months without feeling the wave of emotions all over again.  The minutiae.  Seemingly inconsequential.  We are ever so thankful for those.  But sometimes, it takes work to remember the bigger picture (enter: tunnel vision), and just what (read: Who) is at the heart of it all.  God is steadfastingly faithful.  He always has been...but we were given the opportunity to test our faith this year, and to see His faithfulness come to pass.  God.  He's at the center.  He was with us at her appointments, He was with her on the playground.  He was there around our dinner table, He was with us during cuddle time.  He stood with us in the waiting room, and covered her with protection in the operating room.  He calmed our nerves during recovery...and when she went back to school.  And then, He was with us everywhere in between.

It's not that He was at the heart of it all, but that He is the heart of it all.  If nothing else, this year has been an exercise in proper focus.  Not focusing on the details, the questions, the uncertainties, but on Him.  The less we focus on Him, the more time and energy we have to allow our focus to shift out of place, away from where it should be.  In turn, keeping our focus on Him removes the opportunity for all the things outside of our control to occupy our minds...which keeps worry and anxiety at bay.

Oswald Chambers (I couldn't locate the original source)

I wouldn't hesitate to say that 2013 was our most trying year yet, or our most blessed.  Out of all those trials and valleys, we found our blessings.  It's like the quote by GK Chesterson that says, "Without the rain, there would be no rainbow."

Camdyn & Max after her pre-surgery physical on Monday, and Camdyn post-surgery on Tuesday

And when I look at the big picture in conjunction with recognizing the little triumphs, my heart overflows with gratitude...which is the best way to close out 2013, and begin 2014...and being able to do so is a blessing in itself.

Walking the hall in Explorer on Tuesday night, and a stop at the big red heart before heading home Wednesday!

Happy New Year, friends!  May your blessings be multiplied in 2014 and your focus on Him steadfast.