"I will never leave you nor forsake you..."

Those words rang clear in my head as we sat in the consultation office waiting for her surgeon to return.  I will never leave you nor forsake you...words of comfort, truth, peace.  His words, written on my heart and resounding in my mind.

"Sometimes I forget that this is our life," I said.
"Me, too."

An over-scale model of a human heart sat perched on the table in front of us, serving as a reminder of the reason for our visit.  It had been over 5 years since we'd been in that room.  I will never leave you nor forsake you...words I needed to hear.  Words of hope.  Words of promise.

The heart model being explored by my little love's hands, Children's Hospital entrance at dusk, and all ready for notes.

We sat in the room with her surgeon for over 3 hours, while he (very thoroughly) reviewed all the details of her next surgery with us, beginning with pre-op procedures, ending with the worst case scenarios, and everything in between.  EVERYTHING.  As he spoke, memories of these conversations filled my mind from just a few years before.  We'd forgotten so much.  HOW could we have forgotten so much?  I think it was by His grace that we had forgotten.  If we had placed in our memories every minute detail of our past experiences with hospital visits and surgeries, we would surely have been overwhelmed with the date of this one looming over us.

June 13th.  That's considered the end of the "honeymoon period" as they call it.  You see, once she has her Fontan (which she wouldn't get far without), she, like any other "Fontan patient," is destined for transplant down the road.  They say its like a ticking timebomb, that it "starts the clock" as to how long and how far they can go before requiring something more.  It could be a couple of years, could be way more.  There isn't enough experience with these procedures to know how the long-term effects will fair.  On average, the oldest patients with these surgeries are only in their early twenties.

Heart transplant.  Did you know a heart transplant is only "good" for up to 10 years?  That was something I learned in this office 5 years ago.

The summer of 2013 for the Kopper Four will be a trying one.  You really don't want to hear words and phrases like "Fontan failure" and "reverse the procedure"...even when you know those are only some of the worst case scenarios.  But our little firecracker is strong and we pray that her spunk and persistence pays off this time, as they did both times before.

I will never leave you nor forsake you...it's not a promise that we'll get what we selfishly desire, that there won't be roadblocks and hiccups and trials, that we'll live long, healthy lives on this earth.  It's God's promise that He is ever-present, unchanging, that He will never turn His back on His faithful ones.  Life is full of uncertainty, but the assurance we have from God is comforting, strengthening, hopeful.  It's the "I-can-persevere-because-of-who-He-IS" kind of assurance to which we can cling. 

With much certainty.  Blessed assurance.