"Grace-ful" Parenting

The title of this post started out as "Disciplining a Heart Kid" and quickly evolved as I typed the words.  So often as I write, my heart's thoughts become clear to me...and this post was no exception.

Disciplining a heart kid (or ANY child with a serious medical condition, for that matter).  It's pretty similar to disciplining a non-heart kid.  Similar, but with a twist.  We still want her to have manners, to learn selflessness, to choose obedience, and to have a positive attitude.  We want her to be a kind friend and share Jesus with others.  We want her to learn from her mistakes, to learn how to apologize and forgive, and to grant grace to others.

The difference can be seen or felt when she makes the wrong choices...when she chooses to disobey, to be selfish, or to behave unkindly.  We've always tried to discipline her like we envisioned we would with any other child of ours.  We've tried to withhold "special treatment" because of her heart condition during disciplinary moments.  Because her health has always been so good, that's been pretty easy to do.  We forget that she even has a heart condition at times...and sometimes, to a default.  There's been times when we have been too hard on her, too strict, and have expected too much.  

And then it creeps in.  The parental guilt. 

But it's not just the parental guilt of knowing our actions or words were too harsh.  It's the guilt of a heart parent who knows what an incredible gift their child is but has overlooked that in the moment of discipline.  We are so blessed that she is even here with us, that she is so healthy...that she's been through so much and come through it all so well.  It's the guilt of knowing how often we've sat with her in the hospital, begging God to just heal our little girl.  

We've always joked that she's incredibly strong-willed (man, is she ever) and that we just have to try funneling that character trait towards something positive...that it will serve her well in the future.  While all this is true, it can frustrate us to no end, at times. Sometimes, my frustration gets the best of me, and unfortunately, it shows.  Naturally, terrible guilt and remorse immediately follow.  I need to apologize to her...why was I so hard on her?

Any parent can relate to the parental guilt...and I certainly don't write this searching for sympathy.  This job of raising our "littles" is difficult...really really difficult.  But it has provided many opportunities for her to learn, receive, and practice grace.  She is so quick to grant grace...to move on and readily forgive the very same kind of behavior we discipline.  It's helped her see that nobody is perfect (not even her mommy and daddy), that we all sin, and we all need forgiveness...ultimately, that we all need Jesus.

There's no exception to that rule.  We all need grace.  But it's a question of whether or not we will receive that free gift.

Grace, grace, God's grace, grace that is greater than all our sin.

Grace.  The act of giving someone something they absolutely do not deserve.  Grace is always a gift.

Photo courtesy of Laura Tavarez Photography

More than many other things, I want my children to learn how to grant grace to others...even if one of the ways they learn the art of graciousness is through my mistakes.  I'm human, of course, so I know they'll certainly get lots of practice. Thank God for silver linings.